• James Anderson: cheetah, quick, lean, lithe and all muscles;
  • Nick Compton: elephant – not where you look if you want elegance and grace, but if you want someone obdurate who won’t budge, he’s your man;
  • James Taylor: dwarf mongoose (are we ever going to get bored of joking about his size?);
  • Stuart Broad: with that beautiful golden mane, he’s got to be a lion;
  • Alastair Cook: kudu – looks like he should be more elegant than he is;
  • Ben Stokes: honey badger, the animal you would really, really not want to mess with;
  • Chris Woakes: impala, with those big, dark, liquid eyes;
  • Joe Root: vervet monkey – looks all sweet and innocent, but give him half a chance and he’ll rip all your possessions to shreds;
  • Steven Finn: giraffe, not only because he’s tall but because I’m fairly sure that giraffes, with their unusual same-sided running gait, would also knock over the stumps in their run-up;
  • Moeen Ali: slender mongoose, I think because the bushy tail reminds me of his beard;
  • Alex Hales: waterbuck – there’s a target on his back;
  • Jonny Bairstow: tsessebe, because it’s the gingerest mammal around here;
  • Jos Buttler: wildebeest, because they are both spelled wrong;
  • Chris Jordan: leopard – sleek and athletic;
  • Samit Patel: hippo, because he’s surprisingly nimble and dangerous for his size;
  • Gary Ballance: baboon – fun but troublesome and always dragging everyone else into his mess;
  • Mark Footit: galago, because I have neither seen nor know anything about either of them.
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